i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
