singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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