He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
sex in a hospital.. check
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Randomize
