he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm getting married
To pizza
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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