I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
