This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
