I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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