hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
