just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
