woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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