Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
