I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
