I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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