i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
