I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
