I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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