What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
