if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize