My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
BRING THE BAGELS
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
