Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
