I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
