My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
