why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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