Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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