Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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