we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
