My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
