I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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