is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
