Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
