Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
