His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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