Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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