you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize