i may or may not be watching the land before time
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
