Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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