I faked an abortion last night.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
