Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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