So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
