ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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