Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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