last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize