His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize