That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
