I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
