haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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