Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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