I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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