I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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