Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
