So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
