just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
