she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
