Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
