Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
