no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
