Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
