Christians are straight up FREAKS
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
