Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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