We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Is it because I queefed?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
