69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
