Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize