Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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