her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I cockslap morals
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
