I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
