Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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