we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
