You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
