i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
